What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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