Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
