Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
