thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My vagina is very pro this idea
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
