Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The Olympian is in my bed
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