Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
