she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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