He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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