I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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