i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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