it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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