It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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