i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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