Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize