I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
