literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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