I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
