I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize