I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
