I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
