I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
