I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
