Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
