But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
there is glitter all over my balls
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
