At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize