just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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