yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
