Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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