I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
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I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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