I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My penis needs a shock collar
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
