The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
this will be a night to untag.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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