after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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