You're completely useless in the revolution.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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