Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
