when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
