My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
