dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
