That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
