We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
