Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
