My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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