i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
