Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
