You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Girls should come with a carfax report
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records