If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.