Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.

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(419): "Morning after" poops are always like, interesting. http://tfl.nu/5eje

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

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(816): dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/klxs

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(831): View more from California

she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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(831): she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it. http://tfl.nu/5c70

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

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(505): Apparently senior citizens don't like that position http://tfl.nu/ttsr

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(519): View more from Ontario

I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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(519): I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick http://tfl.nu/bx5i

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(319): View more from Iowa

Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

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(319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen

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(775): View more from Nevada

she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend

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(775): she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend http://tfl.nu/wdj0

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(816): View more from Missouri

He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

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(816): He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/ljav

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(217): View more from Illinois

Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

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(217): Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard? http://tfl.nu/j2bg

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(641): View more from Iowa

You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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(641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"

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(484): Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME" http://tfl.nu/xsgw

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed

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(215): If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed http://tfl.nu/cmm2

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever

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(651): Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever http://tfl.nu/sex2

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.

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(609): i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen. http://tfl.nu/t0rk

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(585): View more from New York

Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.

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(585): Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings. http://tfl.nu/zv1f

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