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"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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