So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is my gift to your gina
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.