If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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