I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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