Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
