she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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