Who did Billy Mays play for?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize