I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
