Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
