matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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