Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
