Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize