Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i think my cat just said my name.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
