I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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