she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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