I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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