What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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