with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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